daaay fiveee.

Daaaaay fiveeee:

a dreaaam<3

- i really only have one dream and that's to be happy.

idc if im broke and alone, i just want to be HAPPY<3

thaaat's about ittt.

i am to the point now that idgaf anymore.

PERIOD.

idcccc, (:

daaay four

Daaaay fourrr- Siblings.
I have one older brother, Duane and sister, Tonya.
i live with my brother. I thank god that i am fortunate enough to have such a great brother. Without him idk what i would do or where i would be. When my parents divorced he was there with open arms to take me in. He deserves the BEST. and god will bless him for everything that he has done for me. I love him and i wish i could thank him enough for everything he has done for me<3

my sister lives eight hours away in Ohio. I am also very blessed to have her. I dont get to spend much time with her but when we are together we have the best time. I love her to the moon and baccck<3

daaay three,

Daaay threeee:

your parents...

hmm, well...

• they were married for 29 years.
• they divorced almost 2 years ago.
• my mom moved to florida
• my dad moved to camden.
• i see my mom like once a year, but i do my best not to let the distance interfere with our relationship. it's really hard tho.
• i mean she's not here to help me with things only your mom can help you with.
• i see my dad maybe once a week, maybe...
• he lives about 10 min. away but he can't find the time in his busy life to come see me. it hurts me soo baddd.
• buttt, i love them both. no matter how much they hurt me, they are my mommy and daddy<3

Daaay twoo.

Day 2 — Your Crush

haaa. funny you should ask thiiiis^.

i would have to say that this is a subject that i try to avoid.

i mean there is one boy that i have more feelings for then anyone else.

so i guess that would mean my 'crush' would be RLH<3

just because i have feelings for two people don't mean that im a hoe, rightt?

i mean there is a difference between being friends and dating someone.

'when i'm with him, i am thinking of youuu.'

i think when you feel like this, then it's obvious who i want to be with.

<3333333

daaay onee:

daay one- your best friend:

i can't saay that i have just one of these, i have friends but not a best friend.

Heather Murray, Tony Murphy, Rocky Hood, Savannah Corder, Randi Ray, Rebecca Kersey and Chelsea Bradford are my friends.

i love each one of them in a different waay, w/out them, i would be lost<3

i love y'alllll<3

it's onnnn(:

Day 1 — Your Best Friend Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling(s) (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

he got the whole place glowin'

I hate when i tell myself im not going to let something happen, and it happens. I told myself that i would never fall for your mind games again and look i have fallen again. except this time, i am talking to someone else. so now i stuck between whats right and what my heart feels. which do i chose?!

Everyone saids time will tell and whatever is ment to happen will happen, but im scared in the process im going to be the one that gets hurt.

1 is ALWAYS there for me no matter what. i can text him anytime and i know that he will be there to get my mind right. He makes me smile and when we are together i am promised a good time. 2 is just confusing, i mean when we are together i feel like a princess, i get butterflys and those silly giggles and i find a perminate smile on my face. But when he's gone, i feel like a lost puppy. He wont tell me how he feels so what if im wasting my time on him, what if he really dont have feelings for me at all, and in the end im going to look like a dummy!

i have decided im going to talk to who i want, im going to do what i want and whatever happens, happens<3

this pic. is of me and my brother before my senior prom

^^

i went to prom with Rocky. after prom me, rocky, heather, rhett and will went bowling and didnt get home until around 3 AM. then rocky and heather stayed the nighttt<3 i had a great night thanks to a realllly great person<3

tonight, everythings on me

april 14th,

it's almost fridaaaaay!

i have never been more ready for the weekennnd!

this week has FLOWN by(:

i dont really have much to write, but i have to saaay that im prettty confused about everything lately! i wish things would just work out or whateverrrr they are going to do. im ready!

<33333333- AMEN TO THISSS:



i knew it..

I am honestly begining to think that I am suppost to be unhappy.

Just when I think that everything is going to be okay, something bad happens.

I don't understand what I did to you or why you want talk to me anymore.

Everything was fine & then the next thing i know, you wont talk to me.

I mean if I did something, at least tell me. or if you dont want to talk to me anymore, FINE just tell me so im not left in the dark. thats all that im asking...

anywaays;

today is monday, first day back from spring break and im determined that from here to May 28th, im going to bust my ass to get my work done! im going to start doing things different. im going to worry about me, and no one else^^^!

- if you want me, im here. if not, have a good lifeee<3

april 5th,2011,

how long is this pain going to go on?

no matter what, i can't seem to get you off my mind lately.

are you okay?

do you remember that when i said i would love you until i die, i meant it.

&& im still here.

why did you take the easy way out? & leave us all behind to hurt?

why?

</3

look bobby, i need your help. give me strength to move on but never forget.

i love you.

this is for you bobby<3 you always told me when you died you wanted this to be played at your funeral, and it was. i miss you.

CLICK^^

&& what you don't do for her, someone else will.

Hello Beautiful,

first day of spring breaaaaak !

the more that i sit back and think about it,

i don't think i can do this.

why do i care so much about you,

and it seems i mean nothing to you.

i dont want to be just another girl...

</3

; wonders if her love is strong enough to make him stay

whyyy?!

it's been forever, i know! so much has happend since the last time i wrote, i don't even know where to begin. just when i thought my life was panning out and everything was going to be okay, on January 30th,2011 my world came crashing down on me like i never expected! it was around 11:00 Sunday morning when my phone rang. my brother picked it up to hear that bobby had commited suicide. Bobby was my boyfriend, best friend, and my heart for almost 3 years. He was the one that i planned on spending forever with. the one that i wanted to have a family with, the one i wanted to walk down the aile to. at the time me and bobby had been broken up for about 4 months. but we still talked and it was obvious that the spark was still there. you know how you try your hardest to hate someone but no matter what they do, you still love them with everything you have? yeah, thats how me and bobby were. we said things we didnt mean but deep down we both knew that we loved each other and we never ment anything. Bobby and i had something special. something you see in movies and love songs. he knew how to make me feel important and wanted. he knew how to love me! and most importantly i could be 100% myself around him and he still loved me.  You really never realize how much someone means to you until they are gone, forever. i would give anything to be able to trade places with him. he didnt deserve to die. he had his WHOLE life ahead of him. i dont know what would have made bobby go that far? i wish i knew WHY?! sometimes i put myself to blame, if i would have been there for him, this may have never happend. if he would have just called me, maybe just maybe i could have talked him out of it. i could have showed him that he had so much to live for. he had so much ahead of him that he never got to experence. so many people that loved and cared about him. i believe he knows now that he really did have so many people behind him, so many people he could have came to for whatever was bothering him. i had his back, i had it and i will have it until the day i die.
it's been a little over 2 months now, i cant believe it! 2 months ago, i didnt think i was going to be okay. but i have to say that i have an amazing angel looking over me and making me go day to day! i know that he wouldnt want me to cry anymore, he would want me to live for him and thats exactly what im going to do! im going to show him that no matter what life throws at me, in the end i will be okay. just for him i go on day to day! i love you bobby lee lowe. 2/11/2008 foreverr<3
RIP BOBBY 10/14/1990- 1/30/2011.